Honest Chaos: the game

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

I didn't hear the coach at first

pulling me out of the game early -

I thought I had another inning or three -

or was it another quarter? another period?

another match? a few more holes?

I thought I'd be walking off of the field

with everyone else, shaking hands, slapping backs

and maybe in years to come,

I'd sit in the stands

and reminisce about the good old days.

Instead, here I am walking back to the locker room

alone.

I wave to the custodian sweeping the halls

under the hard fluorescent lights

pushing a broom that looks like a giant white moustache.

I take off my uniform and fold it neatly on the polished bench

and pull on my jeans.

As I push the aluminum bar to open the door to the parking lot

I am struck by how dark it has become,

how quiet.

The game goes on

and on,

but I no longer hear the cheers from the fans

or the referee's whistle.

I played well, I hope, as I step through the threshold.

I'd like to imagine they will talk about

a while

over beers tonight

or next season when the play

would have been just right to put me in.

For a moment,

it would be like I was there again.

Honest Chaos